Our Dad was such a gentle kind man who deserved to live a long happy life the truth is he was very unhappily married to our mum they lived together in the same house but lived on different sides of the bungerlow when they had to talk my mum would only communicate with him by letter she would never speak to him or cook for him.Dad was only allowed in the kitchen at certain times when mum wasent in there. The only reason my mum stayed with him was she didnt want to loose the life she had financially which seems such a sad reason to stay. Our Dad always said he loved mum. When Dad became Ill we thought that it would bring them together but it wasent to be although my mum did start to make him meals she would just take it into his room on a tray never speaking to him. We used to go down and stay every weekend as we lived a couple of hours away. It was so hard watching him get worse with his cancer he then got so ill he had to go back into hospital he never came out my mum put all his clothes into bin bags before he had even died and told me to take them away with me. I thought this isent right he hasent even died yet. Over the next couple of weeks he got worse and the hospital rang to say he only had hours left to live. My sister and I and Dads mum and Dad were all with him I asked mum if she would come to the hospital but she said no she didnt want to. While I was holding Dads hand he called out my mums name he thought I was her just for 1 second it was so hard to hear I just wish mum had been there for him. Dad died at 3 minutes past midnight it was so sad Im glad he wasent on his own he had the family that loved him dearly with him. I went back to my mums to tell her that Dad had died. she was asleep I woke her up and told her and she said good. I couldent believe it I just wanted to go and get home my Dad had just died and she was saying good. I just didnt want to be there. The funeral was a few days later and I rang her and asked her if she would come to the funeral she said no I said you might regret not going and she said she wouldent. she didnt go to the funeral. About a week later I told her we were going to scatter Dads ashes and to my surprise she said she wanted to come aswell I thought she wanted to say goodbye to him. I scattered Dads ashes and to my horror she started dancing on them. dancing on dads ashes it was so awful. I couldent believe she could do that to our poor Dad. I just wanted to take her home I couldent speak to her I just kept thinking of what she had done to my dad. After I had took her home I went back to the cemetry and I know this sounds crazy but I was in such a state I started to pick as many ashes up as I could if anyone has seen ashes they will know that they are like tiny stones I put them in a small dish that I had got from my mums and took them back up to where I live I put them on top of the wardrobe and I started dreaming every night of Dads ashes falling down the stairs and me sweeping them up it was awful. I knew we had to scatter them again this time without mum. So we choose a day to scatter them again in the cemetry where I live. I dont think I would of got all Dads ashes but Im sure I got quite a few. He can now rest in peace This is my saddest sorry of my Dad its funny though just writing it all down helps me so much. I love him so much and my sister loves him so much too. Thank you for this website Im sure it helps a lot of people as it has me. Paula x